No, I am NOT Pregnant (Yet!)

I have been asked if I was pregnant more times than any woman who is not pregnant should ever be asked.  This is embarrassing but true. Its probably due to alot of things.  One being that I have gained weight over the past several years and it ends up right in the middle, another being that many of the styles and fashions as of late are designed to make you look pregnant even when you are not.  And the biggest reason I can think of is that I am 33, Ive been married for 5 years, and dont yet have kids so folks just EXPECT that you are expecting when they notice you've gained weight.

The first time this happened, I was mortified.  It was 2008 and I was on a group tour of a historical site.  One of the ladies on the tour sat down next to me while we were waiting to board a tour bus and asked me if I was getting enough to eat.  I was all "yeah, are you?" with a little indignation in my tone.  Then this woman, a stranger mind you, launches into a story that started with the words, "Well, I just remember how when I was pregnant..."

I remember no more of what she had to say.  My face was inflamed and my heart was pounding and my eyes were watering and my ears were ringing and it was all I could do to inform her that I was NOT pregnant before rushing to the ladies room to ball my eyes out.

After this first encounter, it progressively got easier to handle when faced with this question. I tried to look on the bright side, that folks asking didn't necessarily think I looked fat ALL OVER, just in my stomach, so given my age and the diamond on my left ring finger, they simply wanted to share in my joy.  B.S.!! Folks are nosy and would be wise to keep their mouth shut unless they know for 100% sure the answer to the question before they ask it. 

I had an old man, a friend of my family, ask me once "when are you due?"  My response, "due for what?" I wish I had a camera to capture the look on his face!

I was ordering at Panera and was asking about the ingredients to a sandwich and the lady taking my order started rubbing her own belly and smiling at me asks, "ooooohhh you got a baby in there?"

Where I work, most of the women my age and marital status ARE, in fact, expecting.  So one of the men who works here just assumed I was too since everyone else was.

Now that I actually want to answer the question in the affirmative, I fear that these negative encounters may rob me of the joy of announcing to the world that I am pregnant, when I actually DO have a baby in there.  At least now when some idiot asks me if I am pregnant I can respond, "not yet!"